22 Reasons You May Be Unhappy
We all want to be happy. However, the unhappiest people tend to have a few things in common. If you’re looking to find peace, balance, and joy in your life, here are 22 reasons you may be unhappy.
1. You worry
Worry creates inner turmoil. It’s like a rocking chair moving feverishly, but going nowhere. Worrying doesn’t create action, it freezes you so you are unable to think clearly and make changes to ensure the negative outcome never happens. Your energy would be better utilized in changing things that you can control, and letting the rest go.
Bobby McFerrin sang it simply enough, “Don’t worry! Be Happy!” The lack of worry can certainly create happiness!
2. You don’t think you deserve happiness
Some people have the warped idea that they don’t deserve happiness. They may have guilt about their past and feel they should be punished, or just don’t feel that they are worthy of such an emotion. Happiness is something everyone should experience. If you don’t feel you are worthy of it, it is time for a re-adjustment of perspective. Give yourself permission to find your happy place.
3. You hold grudges
Holding a grudge has about the same logic as drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. You are harming yourself by carrying all of that negative energy. Let the bitterness go… for your own benefit. The person who criticized you is probably having a great time without giving you a second thought, while you waste your life sending them death rays with your mind.
4. You are a glass-half-empty person
You become what you focus on and like the people you spend time with. If you’re a pessimistic person, you will notice all of the bad in your life. Your perception becomes your reality. Instead, choose to focus on the best in people, the brighter moments, and the beauty and blessings surrounding you. The more you focus on the sunshine, the less the shadows will invade your perspective.
5. You are lonely
We are naturally social creatures and nurturing relationships makes up a large part of life. If you find yourself alone and depressed on a Saturday night, make an effort to change it. Finding friendships will certainly improve your enthusiasm for what each day brings. How do you find good friends? Seek out social settings with people who share similar interests and beliefs to build a common foundation and launch a great relationship. Smile, reach out, and be genuinely interested in others. You will be surprised how far this will get you in building life-long connections.
6. You seek materialism over everything else in life
Many people are so poor because the only thing they have is money. While money certainly is a great gain in this life, it doesn’t bring happiness. Think about how you would feel if tomorrow was your last day to breathe. Would you really want to make more money, or would your focus turn to connecting with people or having certain experiences? If you live by your values, you will find more fulfillment than materialism could ever bring.
7. You don’t make time for the right things
When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you. We all lose our focus at times. However, keeping your activities aligned with your values is helpful in keeping a positive perspective. One good exercise is to list your values and rank them by their importance to you. Then, see how many of your daily activities actually align with your values. Is there a disconnect? If so, what can you do to change it?
8. You hang out with unhappy people
When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time around. If your friends are constant sources of negativity in your life, it may be time to find more positive, happy people.
9. You haven’t discovered your purpose
Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. So many people have subscribed to the lie that their life purpose is to make it to the weekend. No wonder there are so many miserable clock punchers in the world! Instead of existing, find a way to start living! Find your passion and purpose and pursue them, despite the fact that it may turn the mundane inside out and terrify you. Discovering your part in the story is one of the best pieces in life’s adventure!
10. You’re unhealthy
How you value fitness, healthy eating, stress reduction, and sleeping all impact how much happiness you feel. Emotions are linked to many physical properties in your body. The mind – body connection is very real, and often just adding exercise, sunshine, extra shut-eye, or a healthier diet can improve your mood immediately.
11. You’re afraid of failure
Some people are so afraid of making a mistake that they never try. Just imagine how that would have worked out when you were learning to walk! You’d probably still be crawling. Unfortunately, we sometimes lose our bravery as adults and fear trying anything because it may not work. If you embrace this mindset, you will never live up to your potential. This can create a huge dissatisfaction in your life.
12. You’re in debt
Too much debt can cause stress, broken relationships, and financial hardships. Working out a plan to get out from under pain of payments can often bring peace of mind.
13. You seek validation
Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you. If you keep looking for others to determine your own worth, you will always be disappointed. No person except you should have the power to determine your happiness or value.
14. You neglect personal relationships
Most people regret the relationships that were neglected in pursuit of things that suddenly lost their importance. Remember, don’t neglect your friends and family. Their love is more valuable than anything else in the end.
15. You procrastinate
Procrastination is an endless spiral into frustration. The more you do it, the heavier your load. It’s like trying to run a marathon while picking up rocks along the way. Eventually the stress gets too heavy. You should finish projects and drop those rocks so you stay light and able to maneuver through your day without dragging 20 other projects you have put off behind you.
16. You’re not learning
Henry Ford said “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” Learning new things brings joy in the discovery of growth. If you’ve stopped learning, embrace a new hobby or discover a new interest. You will find that the excitement of learning brings you extra spring.
17. You’re too busy
If you are spending your time being busy instead of being focused on the things that make you feel alive, you will find happiness an elusive pursuit. Instead of just being busy, learn to refocus your time so that you are effective, while not wasting time on things that won’t contribute to the best life. After all, you can find many things that take up your time, but don’t take you anywhere.
18. You don’t spend enough time alone
Sometimes, we don’t take the time to separate ourselves from the noise of life to just rejuvenate our minds and focus inward. It’s okay to take time to be alone in a way that relaxes you; whether that’s having a coffee on a park bench under a tree or taking a week-long backpacking trip through the Alaskan mountains. However you spend your solitary moments, don’t forget to take time to step away from all the craziness of life and refocus. Your mental mojo will thank you!
19. You don’t take the time to set goals
An aimless life is the source of disappointment and frustration in life. Instead of just letting things happen to you and trying to keep up, create your own future by setting goals and following through on them. One of the greatest joys in life is seeing a goal come to fruition.
20. You have no real friends
While your world may be full of acquaintances, if you don’t have a few close friends that will stick by you no matter how rough the storm is , you will find yourself in a sad state. Life is about connecting with people, and if you aren’t sure how strong yours are, it may be time to find some friends who will always be there. You will feel more confident in your future by knowing that you will always have support.
21. You care too much about what others think
Once people finally accept the reality that you can’t please everyone, life gets so much easier. In fact, having a goal to try to please everyone will simply drive you crazy. There is no reason to exist with other people’s motives and thoughts whispering in your ear. Break free of the people-pleasing cycle and learn to live your own life.
22. You don’t allow yourself to be happy
You know why it’s hard to be happy? It’s because we refuse to let go of the things that make us sad.
So, what are you holding onto that’s making you sad? It’s a fair question to ask yourself. Sometimes, we consciously choose unhappiness because we can’t let go. Or, we unknowingly chose it because we haven’t taken a good, hard look at our lives and discovered what we need to cut out. The choice to be happy ultimately lies in your hands. Happiness doesn’t have to be elusive. Sometimes, all you have to do is to open the door to the thrilling possibilities before you.
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“Too many people buy things they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t know.” Will Smith
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About the Author
Nathan Chanesmanis Founder & Chairman of online career assessment company www.myprofile.com.aucreators of www.mycareermatch.com.au for student career planning and www.myresume.com.au for resume writing.